(The “Angel of Wonder” from Kristie Hankins’s Collection)
Twice this weekend, I have been in a conversation regarding a young person who made the ultimate decision to end their life as a result of a bullying scenario. One was up close and personal and I had an opportunity to share a moment with the friend who was processing the news that was. . .brand new. . .and the term “breaking news” never seemed more literal. A heart was breaking–on the spot.
The other came in the form of an email from a colleague and friend. And while that scenario is still playing out, there is a community in grief over the loss of a student. . .a classmate. . .a member of a learning community.
And while I cannot substantiate one story on the basis of what was said and who said it, I can share that one story involved a message that might have sounded like, “The world would be a better place without you in it.”
I’d like to respond to that comment for a moment if you’d permit me. I don’t know to whom I should address my remarks, so I am sending this to YOU. Yes, YOU.
A video version of the piece appears at the bottom of the post to share.
Because I want you
to know the world
is a better place
with you in it.
I can tell you this
because I used to think
that the world could be
shrunken down into
a very small place
with only me
or maybe without me.
I used to draw all of myself
into my body, arms hanging
straight down my sides
as if I had been staked
into place and the only
way to withstand
the words and the winds
was to hold some position
if only temporarily
or
maybe I thought by standing
in one true place, God would
find me in that one place
like a some sort of mall map
that would read:
“I am here
and I seem
to have lost myself
along the way.”
This is a small space
to be sure, the kind of place
that might be marked
by a golden star,
but these never stick
to the tops of desks
to the walls of a bathroom stall
to a the metal of a locker door
or the mettle of a Facebook wall.
Oh, and while we are
talking about this world,
(the world that is better because you are in it)
this is your gold star.
I think you must have lost this
when you heard–
from an uninformed source–
that this world
would be better off without you.
No doubt you had thought
it to have lost its ability to shine,
or you might have kept it safety-pinned
to your chest or at least
you’d have kept it in your pocket
to rub now and then with
your thumb and forefinger
as you walked along in a world
that is better
with you in it.
I will bring this back to you,
because I learned to look for stars,
the kind you might see on a clear night
or the kind you might find on a darker day.
As beautiful as they are sprinkled
across a clear night, we can call
to them harshly and cruelly and sometimes
they fall, scattered like so much glitter
mixed into the sawdust of some
sideshow where we were cast
as the curiosities, the oddities,
the outcasts.
But I cannot hold your star
for you. We are allotted one each
to wear and to maintain.
So, let’s put some shine
back upon this star, shall we?
Because the world is better place
with you in it,
and we’ll want you to shine.
Now, watch please, friend,
because I have picked up a thing or two
as I have run in between the trailers
and these tricks are not listed
upon the bills nailed to fences
or painted on mass-produced posters
or on the flyers hung on doorknobs.
No, these are the words
that will make a place for you
in this world that you can immediately
recognize should we lose each other
somehow again.
Words.
Magic words.
YOU are important.
YOU are loved.
There is no other like YOU.
The world is a better place because you are in it.
Now that you have heard me
speak these words, the real magic
is within their ability
to take on even more power when you speak
them yourself. . .like this:
I am important.
I am loved.
There is no other person like me.
The world is a better place because I am in it.
So, while we re-affix this star
to its rightful place upon you,
let’s talk about this world–
the world in which we live–
this world that is so much
the better because
you are in it.
I have found that standing like a dart
stuck in the dirt is nothing like standing
holding the hand of someone
who cares about me.
That, alone, I was a knot-holed picket,
but with just one other person
I could become a part of a friendly fence
and when we build
these kinds of fences
against the world
(the one that is better with you in it)
we keep the pretty side in.
And with the company of two
we are more firmly anchored
in any world
(including the one that is better with you in it)
but especially within this world
a world that would be so different
if you were not a part of it.
Look at the map now. . .
do you see it? That star
next to mine? It’s how we know
that we are both here
and the world
is a better place
for this.
So, when you are ready,
the stage has been set
for you to shine. It’s already
been foreseen in the stars
that shine down on this small place
in which we find ourselves right now.
It may not even be accurate–
alphabetically-speaking–
that we should appear
one name after the other in the ledger,
but I write my name in ink–
right under yours–
to let the world know
that we were here in this moment
in the same place.
Our place.
In this great big world.
A world
that is a better place
because you and I
are in it.
Your friend you knew (and maybe you didn’t know),
Shrug.
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